7

This isn't deep and insightful whatsoever. It's more of a rant-fest...

You know what? I work fucking HARD.
I had 3 tests this week, rehearsals, concert. I got literally 1 hour of sleep thursday night.
I worked from 9:30 AM and left at 10:30 PM for shitty tips
I work again tomorrow morning and monday night.
Still have a SHIT TON of homework.
how am i balancing 18 hrs of school/4.0 gpa/ 20+hours of work?
who the hell knows...

I need a break.

6

I've been hankerin' for a new hair style.
Any ideas/suggestions?

I impulsively walked into a hairstyle salon today and I was gonna tell the hairdresser to just surprise me. Unfortunately (or fortunately I suppose, hah) they said I had to make an appointment ahead of time. Good thing too. Could have potentially been disaserous (or exciting!)

5

I've moved on quite quickly.
No use crying over spilled milk.
I have no use for someone in my life who has no use for me.
Although I will cherish the memories; no complaints there.

On a brighter note, this productivity lately has made me feel really accomplished; its made me feel really self-fulfilled. I'm still kind of tossing up my career in the air but I feel like I'm going somewhere-like i'm definitely getting closer. It seems like i'll be catching on to something very soon. As for transferring to UT, I'm probably going to stay at UNT unless I get some form of scholarship. I can maintain a higher GPA here and save some money too. To be quite honest, I've grown fond of the place-it's quaint.
My job is no longer stressful; I'm saving up a significant amount of money in a fairly short amount of time(although I did go on somewhat of a spending spree this weekend to compensate for my shitty mood).
Anywho, happy times.

4

Independence, here I come.
Throwing myself out there.

So busy, so productive all the time.
Maybe if I smile big enough my troubles will disappear completely.
I feel like a machine and I'm glad of it too.
I don't want to think of you
so here's my plan: I'm sticking you in this tiny tiny box and putting it away on the top shelf for storage.

3

Damn.
The one person that I care about most just gave me a low-blow.

Really upset, but what does it matter?
And so it goes.

2

I'm so god damned confused about everything.
I don't even know who I am, what I want, how I feel, what to do.

It's truly frustrating

I've been thinking...
I feel dependent. I want to feel independent because I know that is my true nature. However, I can't seem to embrace this independence. I'm really confused about my feelings.
Part of my doesn't want to let go. I can't explain my reasoning behind this. I feel a mutual possession. You're mine and I'm wholeheartedly yours. Like you're my rock, my inspiration. I guess this is partially why I feel dependent.

But the other part of me is screaming at me to let go. "There's many fish in the sea, why settle for the first catch when you can keep fishing?" I feel really guilty about having these feelings but they won't subside. I'm young. I should be exploring my options.
I know we've decided to have an open relationship, but I can't push aside that exclusive/possessive/dependent feeling.