18

I feel as if I've lost touch with reality. All of my free time has been sucked up into the cyber world of Facebook, when instead I could be doing so many better things with my time. With reality.

I add people that I've only met once or twice. I creep on people. Others creep on me.

I deleted my facebook account to prove to myself that I am fully capable of living a socially healthy life without the aid (or manupulation) of a social networking website. I'm not implying that Facebook is the devil and you should stay away and yadda yadda. It has the potential to be a great tool for communication. However, in my personal life it has crossed a line and I feel almost as if it owns me. I know that I don't need it and can overcome it.
If I'm weak, chances are that I'll cave in and reactivate it. However, I don't consider myself weak. Once I know that I can live without it, maybe I'll reactivate it and show it whose boss. Until then, I guess we'll just have to wait see the turn-out of this battle

Wish me luck.

17

I feel like life is moving so fast. Everyone is changing-moving so quickly.
As for myself, I feel stuck in an empty void. Everyone is constantly doing, doing, doing.
I'm just a mere solitary spectator stuck in this little hole doing nothin' but dreamin'

16

I wish all emotions came with a set of instructions.
Currently, I think I'm experiencing every possible emotion all at the same time. First, I need a sifter or something to sort them out and identify them. Once I do that, I don't know what the hell to do from there.

When I get angry, I don't know how to deal with it. When I get sad, I lock myself up in my room and bury my head in a book.
I suppose that's why I find so much comfort in solitude.

This can't be healthy.

15

Lately, I've been feeling extremely ambitious.
Now that my first year of college has come to an end, I'm reflecting on my grades and am extremely pleased with myself. (This is in no way supposed to be a narcissistic blog, let me assure you). It just made me realize that I am fully capable of doing whatever my heart so desires if I really put my mind to it.
I'm self-motivated, driven, and will be successful. What is success, you ask? Success is only a state of mind! Bah!
:)

Random: I want to transfer to Rice...really bad.
Hopefully I can maintain my GPA because I will be applying soon.
:)
Also, I've REALLY been abusing these smiley faces lately in both txt msgs, online, and in person.
:) :) :)
:):)
:)

14

Let the summer of self-actualization commence!

13

Love is a messy thing- I don't want to get my hands dirty.

Lately, i've had a plentiful amount of romantic encounters/opportunities. In all cases, there has been physical attraction. However, in my mind (no matter how hard I try not to) I am comparing these suitable bachelors to you. They do not even hold a candle up to you. I feel like I'm stuck in quicksand, slowly sinking without a method of escape.
I don't know if i'll ever be able to form an emotional bond with anyone. If I try, your face comes up in the back of my mind. Thus far, my efforts are futile.
I'm not sad, happy, frustrated, depressed. On the contrary, this makes me feel void of all emotions. I feel like i'm just a physical emotionless machine.
Someone needs to wake me up from this weird trance.

Are you even out there somewhere?

12

I'm longing for a trip, though not one for vacational purposes or anything of the sort.
I want to solitarily go away somewhere (Walden Pond, perhaps?) hah.
In all seriousness though, I really want to get away from society.
Clear my head, align my emotions.
Liberate myself of all societal restraints.

I want to get to know myself better. I don't know who I am anymore. I once was morally strict and had high expectations of myself. Old fashioned would be a safe term.
All of these moral rules and expectations of myself seemed to have already been broken.
Why? Why did I do this to myself?
Don't take this the wrong way; I regret nothing. Experience is life.
I just don't know what it was exactly that made me break my own rules.

I want to return back to my old-fashioned moralistic self. Is it too late now though since my rules have been broken and expectations haven't been met?
Only through a solitary escape will I find clarity and alignment of the self.

I suppose it's time for a moral tune-up. I should go tune-up my honda while i'm at it while my warranty still pays for it.